Derfinitions

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.

Foreploy:

any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

Doltergeist:

a spirit that decides to haunt some place stupid, such as your septic tank.

Sarchasm:

the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

Coiterie:

a very very close-knit group.

Impotience:

eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.

Reintarnation:

coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Inoculatté:

to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis:

terminal coolness.

Writer's tramp:

a woman who practices poetic licentiousness.

Taterfamilias:

the head of the Potato Head family.

Osteopornosis:

a degenerate disease.

Adulatery:

cheating on your wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe.

Karmageddon:

It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Eunough:

the pain of castration.

Hindkerchief:

really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace.

Deifenestration:

to throw all talk of God out the window.

Acme:

a generic skin disease (alt: the best skin disease).

Dopeler effect:

the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.